remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
