you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
