worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
