Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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