So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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