Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
