He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
