my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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