LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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