yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
