You're so nebulous sometimes
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
