If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
