There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
