lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
