i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
