i jhust puked up my retainher.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just invented taco cereal.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He shit in the fireplace
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
