pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
