mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
