she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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