We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
