Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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