Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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