I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
