so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
