Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
