return my video game
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
