gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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