It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
