he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
