just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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