New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i've created a new STD.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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