I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
