haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
