I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
