Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
