When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
