ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
there was a trapeze. enough said
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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