remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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