She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
