I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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