i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
