After last night, I could never be a politician.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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