Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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