i always forget guys have bellybuttons
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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