walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
