wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
