Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
