can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
