mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
