I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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